Tonight I am alone. I may be with friends but my heart is alone. Thats all really. I would be so happy of a man came up to me to make me his.

The dream that I had last night.. Hmm. It kinda came true. It was more or less about my exboyfriend and our ended relationship. Yea, he huged me today. Fucker

I have a certian duity to tell the truth.His girl hasn't been in line before and she still isnt. First step, talk to Cole. Make sure he knows.

I regret coming up here. Its am awkward situation and i just cant handle it. The dogs are abusive and horrible. Next time i just wont come.

It feels weird that I am here in pain and none of my friends who I have helped through their recovery. Honestly I don't miss them, but I'd rather have my new friends, my great friends!!

I feel so strange. Like i lost my fire and my spirit. I feel empty..

Long drives are a time to think. Imiss the feeling of security that I had with you. You were so tough, I knew you could keep me safe no matter what. I miss that

I have this nudge to reconcile with Astin. I don't know why or what the benifit of that would be. Mehh!! I think I miss his friendship all too much.

How do these people know my life??!!!

I'm Scared of Moving On.

I can't wrap my head around the fact that I have lost so much this past year. And the fact that I'm turning 16 and I see that as some sort of turning point. It is the preceding "big" number to 18. So tonight, while home alone, I began thinking about everything. how much I miss my grandmother, my aunt, my "relationship" with my dad, my rock. I miss my best friend and I miss not having my brother next to me, divided by a half foot wall. I miss it all. I really and truly do. I just want to cry until I cannot cry anymore.

A Memory Fading Into Gray.

Lately all thing have been coming out to haunt me. My past is nothing but gone. I believe it will be here forever more. I know it will be, however, I must grow from it. I', sure that I have already done so but more in the sense where it won't hurt me anymore. Mostly, I am just sore. I despise having to be perfect all the fucking time. Honestly, if I were to go to school dressed the way I feel, people would avoid me. nobody would talk to me but they would all give me death glares. This empty pang inside of me is eating me alive. Slowly of fast i"m sure I do not know but it is. Soon I will waste away to nothing and be no more that a memory. A wisp of thought. You won't think twice about the way you treated me, and quite obviously, I won't be able to hurt after this.

I haven't really posted anything of mine on here so I thought I might as well

Is it strange that I have a song I have never heard stuck in my head?

As my life is falling apart, everyone seem's to be getting theirs together.

I just want to take a hammer and bring it down upon everybody's happiness. Why can't I fucking be happy too? Why?? Right now all I want to do is lghflndfonadf;ohpfahnjf'pdnhpoa.

Your a slut so don't deny!! lalala im so giddy right now!!

What the Hell!!

I have become so dependent on talking to you.

You make me smile.

If I don't talk to you i'm mad.

I don't like the way that you have control of me.

I guess that this is what its like.

What it is like to be with somebody and actually care.

I don't know if it is something I am ready for,

but I can't wait to find out how great this will be.

I wish i could still look up to you.

I did when I was six, but my,

that was a long time ago. I

learned better. I love you,

your blood, but girl, I know

better. Your influence would

have been bad. Your going to

turn your self around though.

You will be so much better.

Live cleaner, more free. Love

life with a whole new lenses.

Its Valentinesday so im going to spread the love. You are depressing me. I want to talk to you. Your not talking to me. I cant believe you....

I need to move the rum..

This has been a weird/great/horrible week

• formspring
• heather/michael
• ben
• stephan
• illness
• pain
• wedding?
• no wedding?
• aunt vs. mom

This.

I like this.
What ever this is, its nice.
That's all i'm going to say on the subject.

Lately,

everything has been making me sad. If i'm alone, I am sad. If you are annoying, i'm sad. Seriously, everything!! I really am getting tired of it. -_-

So yesterday...

was groundhogs day. I didn't do anything for it. I normally do. I seriously love Pete Yes, I know that I'm pathetic and I have no life. What ever hoez!!

I can't Focus.

I have been falling behind in my classes.

I get to upset to do my work.

Thats sad..

FUCK YOU!!!

This is my "DUHH" face.

Which is what I want to do

to myself now.

You Again?

Somehow you keep getting brought up in my life.

Your neighbor.

Guitar class.

Lunch Time.

Sex Talks.

STFU WORLD!!

I don't want to think of you.

I don't want to see your face when I close my eyes.

I really don't want to feel your touch when I'm alone.

I can't stand your smirk. I can't bare lunch.

I really can't deal.

You Confuse Me

We have our fun. It's great
We cuddle. Its nice
We text. Its alright
I have to text you. Not so fond
We have a good convo. Its nice again
We hang out. Not what I expected but still nice.
You kiss me head. It's sweet.
You don't talk to me in school. Not cool dude.
I don't like you. I like what we have. Please, at least stop and say high instead of that smirk. Please.